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History
The HOU Convo -*The Humblest of Beginings*- ''-"When you play the game of NF, you either get permed, or people simply hate you, there is no middle ground, unless you're Spartacus Whirlpool Thythane, then you get permed, but people still worship you."-'' ''-An unknown genius.'' The infamous "House Of Uzumaki" section of Naruto Forums, a gloriously weird site dedicated to Masashi Kishimoto jap. (*Trollishi Trollomoto*) and his popular anime\manga called "Naruto" jap. (*Nardo Iwannabeyourfriend*), and all the fanwars, ruthless character-bashings, mindless ramblings, endless dupery, and idiotic pairing discussions which have ravaged both this site and section for ages, creating a terror and blight which not even the powerfull and ever-vigilant Knights of the Order of Mod could vanquish *cough, they didn't even try mind you, they were too busy eating donuts and playing WOW*, all before, amidst the chaos and decay of bad threads and newbie shittery which have given the House of Uzumaki the sad and unjust lables of the "worst and smelliest section of NF" and "The Cesspit od Doom", there arose an unexpected bright light inside the darkness, a flower amidst the ashes of retardedness, which grew fast and strong, switly outmatching every other section in the proud derp kingdom of NF, raising to the very heights of true majesty and random spamming, bringing about a whole new era; an era known as "The Age of The Many Convos", and the story began many, many centuries ago (*pssst, it was actually a few months ago, but don't tell anyone*) with a certain man, who made a certain semi-porn necrophilia thread. This is his tale, and the tale of all those valiant no-life trolls who joined him in his legendary quest in the ambitious struggle for power and over-dominance. -*The Ascension of Raizen*- ''-"Of course she's God Tier! she even brings Animals to bed to Watch vision I mean if she does that great! with all those rods in her, I know mines will make her Summon a fucking Centipede! and plus she doesnt feel pain so its a win-win. Besides She keeps it Fresh in bed, cuz if Im bored She can change the location by us hopping on a Fucking Bird! Who the fuck in this Manga knows about dat Airborne. and you Wonder how Nagato really got crippled'' The bitch fell cuz he lost his balance with her"-'' ''-An actual quote by Raizen, who happend to be under some serious weed, presumably swampweed. His full name was Raizen Butler Fapowsky, and he was an undiscovered mystery to all, just as he remains to this very day, but in the same time, he was but a simple user harrassing and argumenting with young and innocent newbies and veterans of all shapes and sizes alike, starting from the Blender Section and the Library and expanding to all the others all across the kingdom of NF, and not even he could dream, that after creating a thread so foul and wretched, purely by chance and accident, that he would start a chain reaction of events that would change the fate of the land alltogether, and that it would make him famous and wealthy beyond imagining. He named his unique work of art "You Gotta Admit, Female Animal Path is One Fine Looking Corspe" later on, cropped down solely to the code name of "F.A.P" never expecting to be understood by the mindless, peasant rabble of NF, or to have myself and his immense and revolutionary genius to be noticed by anyone at all among the many sections of Naruto Forums, yet, to his, and everyone else's immense surprise, the thread passed through a mindblowing raise in popularity, especially when the peasant folk and the endless hordes of foreign lurkers from afar noticed the contents of his art-like thread bearing the strong resemblance of a Bathouse Section thread about weird explicit scenes of corpse sex with ginger zombie women. Nevertheless, the cunning, intelligent Fapowsky seized this chance to profit instantly, baiting his stupid customers further into posting with nothing in particular other then the fact that he noticed how much free time were willing to throw away, so he sat back into his rotating computer chair, as the incoming greens filled his Control Panel *CP* more then they would have in a thousand years of hard working and posting, not even knowing what his sly, yet greedy plan would spawn up next. In the year of 2011 of ano domini, in the spring of April the 23th, a young former luker and virgin-creep, passing into the borders of the kingdom of NF, and wondering without a true purpose from one mod-neglected thread to another, owing loyalty to no lord or soverign, posting without little sense or magnitude, and earning reps so few and rare, that it was barely enough to survive, stumbled upon the now rich and prosperous Raizen and his blooming and wonderous thread, and immediatelly recognizing her former rival and PM-foe whom she in her arrogance declared him her "personal butler"''and thus giving him his second most famed nickname beside ''"Raizo", smiled to herself, and thought to rub off from the wealthy enterpriser's shining reputation, by starting to work in her nemesis' employ as a poster, gaining a decent repsalary, only to suddenly raise in stature more then expected of a newbie. -*The Newbie Uprising, and the Winds of Change*- ''-"Ahhhh, the things I do for love....and reps....and some internet attention."- '' ''-Jaime Yoursistaknowswhy Lannister, a simple pos(t)er on NF.'' Her name was Almesiva Moonshadow, later nicknamed "Alme", and she was an idiot of the worst kind, but that didn't stop her from raising her own post count and titles at an admirable rate, surpassing most of the workers at the post factory who were in Raizen's employent far longer the she was, the prime example being Jarl Shirosaki Flinn Balgruuf, the current and owner president of the abominable avatar and sets sector making *AAASSM*, who competes with her to this very day for post countship. She, with many others ralying by her side, managed to fill Raizen's overly sexual thread with a horde of foolish, useless posts, gaining many close allies in her fellow posters, and today legendary trolls in their own right, such as Tgm2x, Whirlpool, SasukeKun, Ishi No Ishi, Zoroark, Gold Roger, and many others, even Raizen himself, only to bring the thread about the Female Animal Path Corpse to a quick ending, and starting a second part soon enough, only after which, catching the notice of a young and fair user called Melodie, who suggested the rebellious lot, that instead of spamming up random HOU threads to no end, they should all join her convo in the same section, and leave behind the foolish deeds which would soon attract a flock of Mods-Knights under the service of the High King, and the main don, mafioso boss of Naruto Forums, Virginalis Clithorium. The answer of the Raizen-thread-spammers to the HOU convo-ers of that time was a clear and simple ''-"no, go away!"-'' and Raizen as an explanation as to why the mods haven't closed off the second part of a troll thread, which was a continuation of yet another troll thread before that, was that ''-"they're probably enjoying stuff like this themselves."-'' but only if he knew, that the reason why the F.A.P thread stayed alive for as long as it did, was solely because the mods of NF were all busy roleplaying live sex on a private WOW V.I.P. server, and as soon as the server went down for a few long hours due to technical difficulties, they returned to NF unexpectedly and striking from the darkness wearing gestapo clothing for chubby people, the size of XXXXXXXL, closed off Raizen's thread, and sent it straight to the Landfill, along with all of his dreams, struggles, and free porn posting, and the days have become quiet after that, and Raizen Butler Fapowsky gave up his mantle of a mafioso don soon after, heading into the shadows of lurking, seemingly never coming back again, or at least, so Almesiva Moonshadow believed. -*The Copycats, The Idiots, and the Wannabes.*- ''-"And the lord spake saying; and unto thou shall come a maiden, a maiden who will strive to be akin to thee, yet all of her attempts to build her kingdom in thoust divine image shall fail her, and thou "Female Animal Path is One Sexy Looking Corpse" shall remain a holy creation in my eyes on earth forevermore"-'' ''-God to Raizen.'' Soon after Raizen's unfortunated departure at the sight of his creation crumbling to ash and dust, the Fellowship of the F.A.P thread scattered to the four winds *actually, various and different sections*, seemingly never to be united under the same banner again, only frequently speaking to each other here and there, Almesiva and Whirlpool became great friends\enemies after working in Raizen's factory together, and out of endearment, Almesiva often commented that Whirlpool had "manboobies" instead of muscules, and he seemingly always shrugged it off, saying that offending people is a way for a tsundere to conceal her affections and love, while in the same time, becoming closer and closer to the mysterious man in colorful clothes, a cane, a car which looked like it was from the 80's, and a hat, who called himself Tgm2x, who happened to be very pleasant and sweet, and who regularly VM-ed her with various methods of chaining people, whilst during the time, Almesiva, now a lurker and an occasional poster in the thread which Melodie recommended, along with her e-buddies who transferred to the convo when realizing that they have nowhere interesting to spam-post anymore, decided to create a copy of what Raizen created a not so long ago, a clone of his thread, in order to revive glorious times past, and from her long and hard intellectual process came into being a younger and shittier sibling thread of what Raizen created, and Almesiva, in order to be similar to Fapowsky, and to be loved and respected as much as he was but in her own right, dared to post something called *Sasame Fuuma is one sexy looking Kunoichi*. Unfortunately, Almesiva's wannabe-copy thread, in which everybody was being sarcastic and making bets in order to see how much the thread would actually hold on lasting, managed to reach only the sad, sad, sad, post of 244, before a mod called Naruko came along, and closed it down, treating everyone who posted in that notorious and today, largely unfamiliar thread, with bans if they keep on spamming nude kunoichi asses. Thus, Almesiva never managed to reach Raizen's powerscale, and logged off, listening to depressive music, and eating Count Chocula serials in order to comfort herself in her perpetual sorrow, becoming so goth, that she started shitting bats and Hot Topic logos. -*The Dawn of a New Era Lacking Life*- -''"We have no life, we need no life"-'' ''-A user who requested to remain annonymous.'' Even though her previous plan for a thread was an utter catastrophe, Almesiva met many fine new people including Apedemak , who at first site seemed like an angry Uchiha fan, and Pathos Grim, a man who Almesiva didn't notice at first, but who turned out to be the direct desecendant of Bond, James Bond, and Miss Batwoman Raspy-Voice. Another poster appeared, not like the others, he was fickle and had a moral high horse bigger than the empire state building, and who brought even Gollum to shame with his change of attitudes. This posters name was TobiUchiha111 , or later No Worries ....or Fusion as he is now known, he changed as many titles as Taylor Swiftwhore changed sexual partners. With the fall of Raizen's powerful factory of threads, and his long and unexplained dissapearance in the fogs of the dark forum, the horde of his workers and employees had to find a different way to sustain themselves, and for that reason the derelict HOU convo, after years of inactivity and dust-collecting, suddenly came to life with a bang, and afterwards, was always largely active more or less, receiving postred from all walks of life, ranging from Repwhores, Grammar-Nazis, Grammar-Rapists, Bad Trolls and Good Trolls, Evil Communists (aka. Almesiva, the ultimate enemy of democracy), Fat Virgins (also Almesiva), and People who ask for other people's nude pictures so they can do research and have a good wank with their friends. Forged in the depths of Mount Doom, he was the new enemy arised with his overly idealistic thoughts and opinions and spread them to the four edges of the Convo thread. Almesiva fought bravely while Whirlpool was busy doing whatever it is that he does that makes people worship him as they do (aka, while it was actually drinking and gambling in the Soul Society Battlepit, in a tavern known as BBD, short for "Barbaque, Brawling and Dicks", with other burly men of his own holy stature.) Fortunately Matthew Carrot Colangelo (No Worries birth name, possibly bestowed by Satan) fell to Almesiva's Commie Ways and became an unlikely ally to fight the true evil; The Moderators or 'Mods'. This is where Whirlpool's ancesion began. Now, without the firm leadership of Raizen Butler Fapowsky to guide the people of the HOU section through foggy stench of an uncertain destiny clouded by the anchient evil known only as the "Modbreath" (aka. the main secret ability of the Knights of the Order of Mod, which consists of them opening their mouths and stunning everyone) who now started to gather in an age long abandoned fortress known as the HOU convo, bearing the tattered, old name of "Sin is in, sweetie" and the meaning of the name was never fully uncovered to this very day, (presumably the flawless work of previous owners who were either drunk, high, or just trying to sound poetic WHILE high and drunk). But there thus appeared another man, a man who mortal people only knew by his occasional passage through the crowded, endless threads of the sections beyond count, with the sands of the kingdom of NF under his sandaled feet, and the blazing sun on the glorious skies of Internetia shining down on his crimson locks, with the Nyan cats and the seagulls flying high between the clouds and singing the songs of their people, while he, sword in hand, with the power of leadership and charisma, easily swayed the flocks of handful of No-Lives to his side with such speed and skill, that many to this day wonder at the greatest of all mysteries of all...Whirlpool...and why do people buttlick him as much as they do? All minstrels and bards today will tell you his well-known legend in a different way, some will say, it's because of his incredible prowess in battle, others say it's his rebellious spirt and thirst for freedom, while some say he is actually Tara Galesbie in disguise, and that he sold his soul to Satan (Tite Kubo) in return of fame and immortality. The man, Whirlpool, later discovered to bear the name of Connor O'Dwyer, has been revealed as a descendant of a warrior-like Celtic clan who fangirls over Romans when nobody is looking (especially over Mark Antony) and has swiftly taken over the feeble hearts and low intelect tier brains of the HOU convo community bestowing upon himself the lofty title of "Thane" and has become the key figure in the HOU history who's ideals shine bright unto this very day.